I totally understand where you are coming from!!!

However, if the girls in one of the groups you dance with are not nice to you, then DON'T BE A PART OF THAT GROUP!!!!!

As far as feeling beautiful...It has taken me a very very long time to be comfortable in my skin and to be honest, most days I'm still not comfortable with myself...Even when I get all fixed up with pretty make up and hair and a nice costume...I still feel like a fat lard.

You have to look on the different tribes and see what us big girls are wearing and how we cover up our "ugly" bits...It's a trial and error type thing and believe me I have had LOTS of errors.

I don't know how to help you with your skirt because I don't sew...Sorry 'bout that!

Keep your chin up .
Happy Dancing!
Renee

Tempest, I have to agree with Renee. If you are not treated with respect and dignity from the girls in one of your troupes than perhaps you should consider leaving that troupe. Being comfortable with who you dance with is as important as being comfortable with yourself as a dancer.

Best wishes,
Leah

If you're dancing with people who are jerks, let them know their jerkiness bothers you or just don't dance with them.

Part of the beauty of group bellydance is that each body looks different. You aren't any more or less beautiful than the other dancers, trust me. The more you are relaxed and confident in your body, the more obvious that will be.

Costume advice:
Either having the skirt made slightly longer in back or shorter in front helps it balance out. Some of the dancers I work with pin their skirts to their pants and their pants to their undies - this keeps everything in position, and a heavy belt on top of that adds to the security.
One of the things that bigger dancers often do that I think looks a little unusual in a group of mixed-sized dancers is cover their tummies. The black leotard or black mesh look, while it hides the belly, also reduces the difference between top, belly and skirt - that difference is part of how dance costumes emphasize the curve of your body. If you're feeling self-conscious and apple-shaped, wear a skin-toned bodysuit or bare the belly. Trust me. :)

Tempest, are you the one in the front of the picture with the green/turquoise skirt on? You are beautiful! I love your top!

I too wouldn't dance with a troupe where the members are not nice to one another. If it's just a few of them and not all, then I would continue with confidence in yourself and eventually they will get it.....or not.

I had this experience recently at a different studio that my friend and I decided to take lessons at. We came into the advanced group and the ladies in this group had danced with eachother for a few years and were all very thin. They kinda looked at us with an attitude of why were we there? So my friend and I just danced, showed them we weren't going to let their clickishness get to us and they eventually accepted us. There is probably one young student who thinks we are too fat and old to be in the group, but she'll just have to get over it because no one is stopping me from doing what I want to do.

You can't control what others think or do, you can only control yourself. So have confidence in yourself and do what you want to do.

Costuming for any size woman is important. If it is not flattering to your shape or color then it is going to look awful. If you feel more comfortable in covering your belly, then do so. If not, then don't. But from your picture I think you look just fabulous!

Shimmy till you can't no more.....
Sanura

i recommend the costume goddess book #1. it tells you what types of skirts and costume you should wear for your type of figure! I will also post what i recommend. You can try it and see if it works for you. It might not but its worth a try. Please dont take it the wrong way. There are many opinions on this subject...this is just mine

One thing i realized since i am short that circle skirts, tiered skirts or A-line skirts make me look shorter and fatter! Mermaid skirts are the best. i love them and they love me! I really dont think they could go wrong on anyone. i also wear straight skirts on occation. So im recommending if you can, wear a mermaid style skirt. Looks like the lady on the right side of your main photo has a mermaid style skirt. Better yet, start wearing beledi dresses!!!! you can buy patterns here shop.vendio.com/guardcat/category/7309/ this will cover my next recommendation.

Try wearing one color from top to bottom. I will make a difference! if you break it up into different color on top and different colors on the bottom its setting yourself up for looking bigger then you actually are! Try wearing all one color. From your bra, to your skirt, to your belt...it should all be 1 color. Or wear a dress. Check out my profile photos and you will see that i wear all one color. Even look at Naimah photo on the main page of this tribe. She is wearing all one color with accents in blue. Check out Nisha bigbeautifulbellydancers.tribe.net/photos/7e0e9feb-1e11-4d68-8501-0a678350d588 again all one color with and accent color. You can accent in another color such as the beads or coins on your hip belt, necklace and of course you could use a different color veil.

you can also wear an accent color skirt underneath your main colored skirt. for example people.tribe.net/shaynaz/p...b786972208

Try to avoid big decorations in the front.

Try to avoid horizontal lines.

Hi Tempest!
2 things that I can think of that will help make you beautiful in costume is:
1. Posture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Attitude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have these 2 things it will not really matter what you are wearing (now.. of course wearing things that fit well is essential and as someone else said, that is trial and error.. you will probably have to learn to sew to be able to modify and/or make your own costumes)

If you are wearing something beautiful and you slouch or walk funny that makes everything else noticeable and then the costume doesn't wear right, if you exude confidence, people will believe that and it will flow off you and on to them. Be happy in your dance and others will be happy to watch you. Seriously, it really will shine through!

there are ways to wear skirts, especially with scarfs, belts, etc that will make them balance out, you can also pin them in fun ways so that it wont ride up. play around with it.

as for the other thang... the not so nice girls, Iwould speak to your troupe director, tell her how you are feeling. If she happens to be one of the not so nice people then I would think about dancing with other people that support you. This is not the time or place where you should feel bad about yourself... not with your troupe members.. that is the point.

I've been dealing with this whole thing about being in a troupe with all smaller women for years now and I am usually ok with it .. until they come up with costuming that is entirely unflattering on my body. I know how you feel. But, I talk it out with my director and ask if I can make modifications that make me feel comfortable and still keeps in line with the main costuming. It can be done!

If you have any more questions about how to feel better in costuming, feel free to PM me.. I may have some suggestions!

Good Luck!
H.

Hi! My advice echos alot of everyone else's, I believe. Either ignore those women who aren't nice to you, or quit. You don't need to be subjected to their attitudes. They are probablly really insecure about something or another, and this is their way of feeling better about themselves. Of course if you really like that troupe, just stick with the people that you get along good with. I'm happy that the other troupe is more supportive.

Sounds like a self-esteem issue. I know what you mean though. It's easy to look at all the smaller girls, and compare yourself to them, but what I like to remember is there are always people who are fatter, and thinner than I am. Good costuming also can help with that. I know it's going to sound a little insane, but perhaps think about trying a mesh middle unitard. At first, I would wear form fitting tank tops, with tribal stuff over top of it which looked alright. But they'd always ride up, or cling un-attractively to bulges ands rolls. But the mesh, stays smooth, and since mine is a power mesh, it holds you in place and doesn't stick to rolls and so on. It actually makes me look thinner, I think, than a regular shirt.

Another lesson I learned froma troupe performance is : don't wear your skirt too low. A few of the smaller girls from my troupe did , and it made them look quite large. Not that there's anything wrong with being quite large, but yknow what I mean? They are smaller than me, and I looked smaller than they did because my skirt wasn't below my belly.

Perhaps another thing to try would be creating a dance persona. The you in real life might feel intimidated, repressed, so on........... but the stage you doesn't need to feel anything negative. That's helped me alot.


Hope that helps!

s286.photobucket.com/albums/...lifun82/
This is a link to a photo gallery. When you get the the Empty Bowls performance photos, there's where I'm talking about the thin girls wearing the skirts lower, and so on. I plan to upload them here, but haven't, yet.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!