I wrote this little essay a few months ago and I would like to share it with this wonderful group! Hope you don't mind.....and thank you for reading it. I hope it can help those who may need a little encouragement and give insight to those who don't go through what we BBBD seem to.


So You Think You’re Too Fat To Belly Dance?

By Sanura


During the late 70’s and early 80’s an ancient form of dance from the Middle East – Raks Sharqi, Oriental Dance, Belly Dance – became more popular in America. As people from Arab countries began moving to the United States and different ethnic restaurants began opening, belly dancing became a form of entertainment at Middle Eastern restaurants and various venues.

The belly dancers during this time were svelte and voluptuous with curvy hips, thin waist and ample bosoms. That is what restaurant owners and event promoters wanted since in America this was the fantasy image. As exercise took a turn during this same time period to include aerobic dance, belly dancing too became a new form of exercise. As a result belly dance classes were being offered at fitness centers, dance studios and by private instructors.

Some women signed up for classes as a fantasy for their husbands, and for others it was a different form of exercise and then for others a total emersion into a new culture. Over the past 20 years the art of Oriental Dance – has evolved into a myriad of different styles to include your traditional Egyptian Cabaret, Folkloric, American Cabaret, Tribal, and various forms of fusion dance.

During this evolution also came the revolution of “Fat is Okay”. What do I mean by this you ask? During the past 20 years, but more so during the past 10, designers and retailers learned that there was an important customer base out there who needed updating on clothing styles, thus the fashionable plus size women’s clothing industry exploded. No more loose fitting sacks or maternity looking tops for us Ruebenesque women. Clothing designers began designing for the plus size women and specialty shops opened such as Lane Bryant catering to the fashion conscious, extra large size women. The Big Beautiful Woman Magazine was published with articles supporting plus size women. From this revolution the plus size women became more confident in her personal life, and career.

But…….many of us still felt we couldn’t or shouldn’t do certain things, like wear a two piece bathing suit, or even for some a bathing suit at all! We shouldn’t show our midriffs or wear tight fitting clothes. Again, we would limit ourselves to what kind of stylish clothing to wear and also what type of activities we would pursue. No way was I going to wear a Lycra wetsuit to go scuba diving!

Then…...I got to thinking – sometimes a dangerous thing – why am I preventing myself from doing the things I like? As a child I danced from the time I was 5 years old through high school. I took ballet, tap and modern jazz. And then in college I entered disco contests, learned to line dance during the Urban Cowboy scene and bobbing up and down to the Punk Rock sounds during the late 70’s and early 80’s. Okay….now you can guess my age! I wanted to dance again! Since I had a child and put on some weight tutus were out and tap dancing was a little difficult since 40 DDs didn’t feel too good whacking me in the chin. Then someone told me about a belly dance class being taught nearby. I thought this would be fun and would help me get back into shape and not be as boring as treading on the treadmill.

I went to my first class and low and behold, most of the women were young and skinny! I was still young, but definitely not skinny. So I stood in the back of the class and followed the instructor. I enjoyed the class but still felt a little inferior to the other students only because I felt fat and wondered if they wondered what a fat person was doing taking belly dancing! Although I enjoyed the class, I didn’t feel like I fit in, so I quit. No one wants to continue going somewhere they didn’t feel welcome. It’s bad enough that my family was getting on to me about my weight.

Let’s fast forward several years into the 90’s. I got rid of the husband that criticized my being fat and found my best friend from college who loved me no matter what and we married. While turning 40 I thought I needed to do something for me that was fun and began taking belly dancing again. I must say that part of the courage came from turning 40 and from the love and support I received from my hubby. I didn’t care if I wasn’t thin or young at this point! I wasn’t standing in the back of the class anymore either! I decided I liked who I am and what I look like. I liked how my shimmies looked in the mirror too! And the undulations and figure eights look great with extra curves! Once I decided to let go of what society considered beautiful and accepted myself, there was no stopping me. Of course this did freak my mother out a little. Being the tiny Asian woman that she is – obviously I took after my American father’s side of the family - she just didn’t understand why I was accepting my larger size. I love my mother dearly, and bless her heart I know she always meant well, but size related to beauty for her. Thus I was beautiful when I was thin according to mom.

I am 49 now and have been seriously belly dancing for the past three years. I love what I do and how I look. I have met some fabulous Big Beautiful Belly dancers and have made some wonderful friends. Many of us BBBDs have made inroads in changing the publics perception of what is an attractive belly dancer. She doesn’t have to have a 36-24-36 figure. A beautiful belly dancer has confidence in herself and skill of the dance. Costumes can be created to flatter any figure. Wear what you feel comfortable in wearing whether you wish to cover your belly or not cover your belly. There are no rules. Whether you’re a Cabaret style belly dancer or a Tribal style belly dancer you are a belly dancer that happens to be big and beautiful.

Yes, there are still those studios where plus size dancers may not be as welcomed. I believe that if we show confidence in ourselves, take the dance seriously and learn the technique, we can hopefully overcome the prejudices. Those who wish to still believe that only thin people should belly dance are self centered and the bad karma they give will eventually come back to them. If you feel that the studio you are attending is not supportive then I highly recommend that you find somewhere else. If there aren’t many choices then start something yourself. Get a group of women who want to learn and get together and learn from DVD’s. There are many great instructional DVD’s to learn from. Attend area workshops to help enhance your learning.

The ancient form of the dance was done by women for women and they were REAL women just as we are. So grab your hip scarf and dance! And don’t let anyone, most of all yourself, say you are too fat to belly dance!